Monday, July 25, 2011

Think Before Divorce

Before moving on with what you need to know about divorce, the next few paragraphs will ask you to look before you leap if you find yourself wanting out of your marriage. Choosing to divorce might ultimately be your decision, but it should be one made in a state of calm with little doubt and few regrets.

When someone approaches me and says he or she wants a divorce, my first reaction is to say, “Are you sure?” Decisions made in haste can take on lives of their own, and before you know it, there may be no turning back to save your marriage. Deep down we all know when we are at peace with the decisions we’ve made- big and small. Sometimes we listen to our gut and sometimes we don’t.

When we make decisions and take action while our doubt mechanism is in full gear, we know we will eventually pay for it. To avoid this scenario, respect the little voice inside you, if it says “wait.” Your gut instinct is asking you to reevaluate the situation before making your decision. Before making this significant change in your life take a good look at yourself and your concept of marriage.

When you’re looking at the choice to divorce, forget all about the idea of the romantic fairy tale. It’s time to take a good look at marriage and understand what it really takes to make this type of partnership work. Depending on how realistic and honest you are when evaluating your situation, when it comes to a divorce, you may find that the grass may not always be greener on the other side. For a good dose of reality, sit down and write out a pro and con list of staying married vs. the realities of divorce and being single.

Consider the following: children, your career status and ability to make money, finances, life style changes, cost of divorce, being single again and the threat of sexually transmitted diseases once you’re back on the dating circuit. (You may be thinking, “I never want to date again, but trust me, you will.)

Consider the following:

Have you gone to marriage counseling?
Have you and your spouse taken the time to talk and isolate the real problems of the marriage?
Do you really listen to each other or just nag, complain and tune out?
How well do you compromise and try to find time for enjoying quality time together?
How productive or destructive are your methods of fighting?
Do you kiss and make up without holding grudges?
Are you teammates working toward the same goals?
Are you both willing to work on your issues together?

Writing out the answers to these questions will help guide you in making an educated, rational decision. Divorce is difficult, but it might be your best option and worth the temporary discomfort of transitioning into a new life. The process of honest evaluation will help you experience more peace and have fewer doubts regardless of your decision.

Further clarification contact: 9962999008

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Why womens are not seeking divorce when their husbands live in Adultery?

The Hindu Marriage Act provides that any marriage solemnized, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party is living in adultery.

What is Adultery?

Adultery means Sexual intercourse between a married person and a third party. Adultery is when a woman has voluntary sexual intercourse with a person other than her husband, at other places adultery is when a woman has voluntary sexual intercourse with a third person without her husband’s consent.

A divorce can be granted if it is proven that one partner in a marriage has had an affair and committed adultery, defined as having had sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex other than their spouse, and if the spouse finds it intolerable for the marriage to continue.

When applying for divorce on grounds of adultery, it is necessary to provide the courts with as much evidence as possible about the alleged adulterous affair, such as places and dates. If the partner who has had the affair or affairs does not contest the divorce, then it will usually be granted with little difficulty. However, if the divorce is contested, detailed evidence will be required to satisfy the courts that the affair actually occurred, and the process may be lengthy and expensive. It is not necessary to name the ‘co-respondent’ – the person with whom the adulterous affair took place – and many lawyers advise against doing so as it may cause unnecessary delay and additional expense if the co-respondent contests the petition. There is often little reason for a co-respondent to cooperate, particularly as they may be ordered to pay a portion of the court costs if a divorce is granted.
It is very difficult to produce direct evidence to prove an act of adultery. Adultery is a matrimonial offence as well as a criminal offence. The requirement of proof in a criminal case is stricter than the requirement in a matrimonial case. In the former case the act is to be proved beyond reasonable doubt, whereas in the latter the evidence is based on the inferences and possibilities.
Thus the offence of adultery may be proved by:
1. Circumstantial evidence
2. By evidence as to non-access and birth of a child
3. By evidence of visits to brothels
4. By contracting venereal diseases
5. Confession and admission to parties; and
6. Preponderance of probability
Hence in proving the adulterous act of the spouse many have not suggested to file divorce on the basis of adultery.

The author Mr.Satish Kumar can be contacted at divorceadvocate@aol.in

Friday, July 22, 2011

Social network now becames evidence in Child custody

Child custody battles can get contentious, but one couple took that to an extreme recently. Amid the messy Child Custody dispute, a woman apparently created a fake Facebook account to catch her ex-husband in a lie. It worked at first, but the tables were later turned.
The 29-year-old woman reportedly created a Facebook account for a fake 17-year-old girl with the phony name "Jessica Studebaker" and then friended her ex-spouse. She apparently initiated an online conversation with him with the hope of producing evidence that he is an unfit father.
The social networking site now becomes a evidence making tool for the unfair couples in divorce cases.

By Team Daniel & Daniel
Helpline:- 9962999008.

Older men still play games. Beware of internet dating.

Can I just begin by saying that I love men, and I would not tar all men with the same brush, but I might beat most of the them with the same stick.

My comments for the purpose of this article are aimed at older women.

Ladies, don’t you think that men, at the mature and life experienced age of their early fifties, would have abandoned the idea of talking vebal…. vebal what? yes verbal that!

Well alas, it may not be so, still pours forth.

I read in the paper recently, an article about separation and relationships and a very interesting statement was made, ‘men give love for sex, women give sex for love’.

And they are still doing it, years later, when they should know better.

Let take a loose example, a lady in her late forties, is separated/divorced. She is partly or wholly through the mayhem that ensues, she has become lonely for companionship and attention, and decides the time is right to go back into the world of dating. But where does she go? All her friends are married or attached and the only interest she receives is from pat the postman, who is short and giddy, and frankly does nothing for her.

So she turns to the world of internet dating. It should come with ‘buyer beware’ stamped all over it!

Wouldnt you think that the older men are now matured and looking for companionship too. Yes, yes, before you shout at me, all the men out there, we know YOU are different

Well the simple answer is no, there are still older men out there, who havent a notion in hell of settling down, committing or being Mr Right.

Loads of Mr Wrongs out there im afraid.

And just as the simple things in life are free, and simple uncomplicated advice can be best, this is mine.

Beware the man that jumps, or should I say appears to jump in too soon. Declaring undying love, coming out with the ‘old one’, ‘I will always bthere for you’, and having the audacity to discuss future trips to Italy. ALL ON THE FIRST DATE.

Run away, or if you are mad about him, at the very least, don’t go along with it. Tell him you are flattered but he must slow down and its way too soon to talk like that. Even if your heart is leapfrogging all over your body, and your hormones have regressed to the mental age of 17, shut up and smile a little condescendingly and nod.

Say nothing, zip it, dont reciprocate, and whatever you do, DON’T go to bed.

If you do, chances are the very next day, he will tell you how ‘lovely you are’, but he has a lot on at the moment, and he doesnt see the relationship going anywhere.

Yes, it can happen to you.

Sorry, just careful, and yes i’m afraid, you still have to play stupid games, that you long to leave behind with your teenage years.

Written by : Lynnmargaet
Contact Divorce Advocate at email: divorceadvocate@aol.in
Ph:- 9962999008

Wife is always right, says SC

Husbands wanting to lead a happy married life can rely on some useful tips given by the Supreme Court, the most important being: "Do what the wife tells you and never question her authority." The words of wisdom came from two ‘Bhuktbhogi’ judges -- Justices Markandey Katju and Deepak Verma -- during the inconclusive hearing of a 17-year-old divorce litigation between a serving Lieutenant Colonel and his wife. The vacation Bench comprising these two judges asked the counsel whether there was any scope of compromise between the two and both in unison gave different reasons to say that there was no possibility for a happy ending to their dispute. The wife's counsel said that the Rs 10 lakh offered by the husband for complete settlement of the dispute and divorce was too little as it was not easy to bring up a teenaged daughter. She was married in 1991 and was allegedly thrown out of the house in 1992 after which he had moved the court for divorce. While the trial court dismissed his divorce plea, the HC had allowed judicial separation. But on her appeal against this order, a division Bench of the HC had granted divorce to him. Terming this order as erroneous, she had moved the apex court. The husband had an altogether different story to tell. She had filed several criminal cases against him that included charges like -- `he takes bath like a dog' and `he commits sodomy'. The counsel said he had fought the cases for over 17 years and had been exonerated of all charges. "He has been ruined financially and professionally, but still wanted to settle by giving Rs 10 lakh to her for a divorce," he added. Justice Katju, while adjourning hearing on the case, decided that it was time for the husband to get a few tips from him about how to lead a happy married life. "You should always agree with her. When you agree to what she says, you will always remain happy. If she tells you to look this way, do that. And if she tells you the next moment to look the other way, again do that," Justice Katju said much to the amusement of the lawyers who were waiting their turn to argue their case before the vacation Bench. And to convince them about the usefulness of his advice, Justice Katju said: "We are talking from experience (Hum sab bhuktbhogi hain)." The writer can be contacted at : advocatechennai@gmail.com or Ph: 9962999008.

Divorce support for men. Dealing with divorce and separation.

Article by M Porteous

With the statistics showing that divorce is at an all time high the level of support for divorcees has skyrocketed to help people get through this very difficult time in their lives and find a way to move on. Unfortunately that level of support is extremely skewed to help women, not men dealing with divorce! So with divorce support for men so low what does a man after divorce do? OR perhaps more importantly what should they NOT do!

The first problem most guys face is coping with the reality of being a divorcee. This can sometimes take some time to sink in and before the realization settles men can go through a wide range of emotions and actions. Many can refuse to believe they are really divorced, in their hearts they are still married even if they do not feel in love and others feel in love but feel separated. To cope with these things men will usually do one of two things: Nothing or Everything! When they do nothing they can become deeply depressed and a recent statistic shows they are much more likely than the woman to commit suicide, whether this stems from the lack of support for men compared to women or just that men are more susceptible to these things is unclear but since men are usually creatures of action doing the opposite can be very detrimental to their mental health.The opposite effect is that the man tries to cope with this new situation by doing as much as he can with his life so he does not have to focus on his emotions. A great focus on work or on socializing or some other activity to keep himself busy becomes the main goal in the mans life. While this can be better than the lethargy of depression men often do things they regret during this period such as; sleeping around to fill the void of intimacy, alcoholism, getting into fights, and of course not resolving their emotional conflict.To compound these issues women are more likely to have a social network of friends they can rely on to help them emotionally whereas the man will not have the relationships with his friends to talk about such things and the man himself may not feel comfortable looking for help from other men even professionals.

So where is a divorced man suppose to go for help? There may be no perfect advice for men after divorce and while we can generalize on the character of males we are all different enough that we all need different solutions. The best advice I have heard however that man is is a natural problem solver, give a man the information and tools he needs to solve a problem and he will eventually build something that works. Divorce support for men may simply be giving a man as much easily accessed information so he can occupy himself with solving his own problems. Men dealing with divorce and separation may always be seen as lesser problem than the women but thanks to the internet it is much easier for men to access the help they need without the social stigma and embarrassment they might feel in real life.

email:- divorceadvocate@aol.in Divorce Advocate Helpline:- _919962999008